I wish I was pregnant

Last week the lady who makes my take-away coffee asked me if I was married. I told her I’d been married for 7 wonderful years.

I held my breath and waited for the inevitable question that follows the marriage question.

“Do you have children?”. My answer was a short and firm ‘no’.

“What? Why not? You should have kids! You’d be a great mum”.

I think my response shocked her. “My husband and I can’t have children. Thanks for the coffee and have a nice day”.

I fought back a whole-lotta silly tears and made a bee line for the lifts to my office. Having a mini breakdown in the middle of the coffee shop ain’t my style. I know my response would have left her feeling a little bad but I wasn’t going to lie to her.

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To top it off, one of my colleagues yesterday asked me if I was pregnant. {I swear I’m never wearing that dress again!}

I am not pregnant. I wish I was pregnant. But I am not pregnant.

I struggle everyday with the infertility stuff. There was a moment in time when I was very private about it but there comes a point when you realise talking about it to family/friends/coffee shop ladies ….. just makes you stronger. 

People tell me all the time that I’m brave for sharing my infertility ‘woe-me’ stories. Maybe I am. Maybe I just over share. But I hope my car crash over-sharing helps other women feel like they are not alone.

I understand the coffee shop lady was curious. People in general are curious as to why no children exist after 7 years of marriage. Most of the time I’m strong enough to tell them about my 3 babies and how I lost them, but sometimes a topic is too sensitive and it hurts like hell to talk about it. It’s really painful to think back and reflect on the moments my babies grew wings and became my angels. It makes my ovaries ache and my womb sob.

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I hope this serves as a good reminder for you, and a good reminder for me that we all struggle with something. Asking super personal questions can do damage. Be aware.

So, I’m not pregnant. I don’t have human children. I want them. Badly. But life doesn’t always give us what we want. Perhaps hubby and I are meant to hike the Mt Everest pathway to parenthood. Maybe a surrogate will knock on our door. Maybe we need to explore adoption in depth. Maybe the universe will read this and send a stork our way.

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Image credit My Baby Lover Pinterest board

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5 Morning Mantras To Inspire You

You’ve just woken up. Did you reach for your phone? Switch the TV on? Race to the bathroom? Already running through today’s to-do list?

Yeah, me too.

However, stay with me on this for a second. Right now is the perfect moment to do something wonderful for yourself. Take this moment and set the tone for your day. Do you want to choose a joyful day? Maybe a productive day?

OK. OK. OK. Maybe you just need some coffee first!

Because I love you guys so much, I’m sharing 5 morning mantras to inspire you. Yep, I’ve grabbed these nurturing bad-ass words from my private collection in a bid to start your day off on the right foot.

Sometimes we need a little mantra or affirmation to catapult us into the land of positive energy and feel good vibes. In my opinion, mantras are wicked. Especially in the morning when we are receptive. They re-route our thoughts and bring us back to a positive head space.

Just a few moments of thinking positively each morning can transform an entire day.

If the words resonate with you, I encourage you to print them out, PIN-IT on your Pinterest boards or write them down! 

 

1. Today I will do something that my future self will thank me for

2. It’s a good day to have a good day

The Lover List - Morning Mantras

3. Doubt kills more dreams that failure ever will

The Lover List - Morning Mantras

4. I am enough

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5. Today I will positively impact someone’s day

The Lover List - Morning Mantras

Do you like any of these morning mantras? Do you have your own? Let me know in the comments below?

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Thought of the week #30

 

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Encourage her to be as free as the ocean, as deep as the ocean, as wild as the ocean and as powerful as the ocean. Be so full in your loving, so strong and stable in your presence, that she can just let go and surrender the limits she has put on her feelings. Let the emotions of her heart flow unguarded. Let her love be expressed with no limits. Let her go mad with love. 

~Annoymous

No limitations today. Surrender the limits YOU put on your feelings. Love with every fibre of your being. Go forth and go mad with love babe. 

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Motex Embossed Label Maker

What a week! I just want to say a massive THANK YOU to everyone for being so sweet and supportive about the new re-design. The feedback about the manifesto has been mind blowing and I’m thrilled to see so many of you re-signing. 

So let’s get stuck into today’s post. It’s short and sweet, just like Friday’s should be. 

Are you crafty? I’m not. I mean, I like to think I am but the truth is Martha Stewart would laugh in my face if I ever showed her my craft attempts. 

HOWEVER.

Check out this bad boy. Does it bring back memories? It’s a Motex Embossed Label Maker.

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Motex Label

Motex Label The Lover List

This looks like fun. Serious fun. Just think of all the household goodies you could label. Office files. Gifts. Children’s foreheads.

Available from Lark Store 

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TheLoverList.com gets a makeover

Welcome to the latest incarnation of TheLoverList.com. Do you like the makeover? My stomach is doing back flips and my heart is about to beat out of my bloody chest, I’m so excited!

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But first, I need to start with an apology. If YOU are one of my beautiful subscribers who opt to receive my posts via email, I am so sorry. Your email address has decided to play hide and seek with me …. and babe, I can’t find it. However, let it be declared your connection matters to me so I’d love for you to please rejoin my wolf-pack and tap your email address into the ‘Never Miss A Post’ box on the side menu.

So you’re probably asking, why the change? Well, I guess that requires a confession. Websites fascinate me. HTML codes excite me. Controlling two blogs wasn’t enough and I felt the pull to do more. Earlier this year I enrolled in an online course to learn more about website design, content and blogging. For the past five weeks, I’ve been behind the scenes making small changes to my own site, studying and helping another friend create & design her new business website.

Life has been amazingly busy and I’m grateful for the opportunities flying my way.

Half way through the course, I realised I wanted complete creative control over my website and decided to move hosts. It’s by far the best decision I’ve made ….. however a few little hiccups occurred:

  1. My subscribers vanished. Panic set in. Swear words were said out loud. Fuck-a-duck!
  2. My old blog layout wasn’t compatible with the new host, resulting in an unexpected re-design of the whole site.

I totally lost my shit for 10 minutes when this happened but quickly realised what a blessing it was. For here was an opportunity to put my new skills into play and re-design my site. It gives me the greatest sense of accomplishment to re-launch and invite you gorgeous creatures back to my blog.

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There are lots of new features on the blog so feel free to snoop around.

  • The introduction of my monthly ‘Love Letter’ newsletter. Join here and you’ll receive a FREE copy of the hilarious Lover List Manifesto to save, print and keep. I guarantee you’ll get a giggle out of it! 
  • Did you notice the new profile photos stashed in every corner? My talented and gorgeous girlfriend Jessie Jane Baker is the superstar behind the lens. I can’t recommend her enough!!!! Jessie Jane is the beez kneez and you must go check out her website page and befriend her on Facebook right away.
  • The ABOUT ME page got trashed. Yep, I hit delete and rewrote my story.
  • The CONTACT ME page includes my new email address and social media links.
  • The POPULAR POST page is a great starting point for new readers to explore.
  • Twitter and Google+ links have now been added.
  • Leaving a comment on a post just became easier (so let’s amplify your presence here babe).
  • A selection of the most popular articles is at the very bottom of each post for you to re-discover. Go have a look!
  • I’ve made it easier to share a post. Just click on the Facebook or Twitter buttons at the bottom of each post to share with your tribe.
  • A Pin-It Pinterest button has been added to each image.

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BEFORE YOU LEAVE, I hope you like the new layout and new features. I’m head over heels for it and would totally LOVE LOVE LOVE to hear your thoughts on it.

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7 instant pick me ups

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I’m sick. My nose is full of snot. My face is throbbing. My eyes are watering. My voice has disappeared.

I need this head cold to pack it’s bags and depart my head. Pronto.

I’d love to be at home right now on the couch with my trackies on, watching trashy TV and sipping on a cuppa of tea but for reasons unbeknown to me, I’m forcing myself to go to the office and suffer. Oh yeah, I’m an idiot! 

Yesterday I was thinking about instant pick me ups. You know, the little things that cheer you up when you’re feeling a bit down and out. Here is what I wrote down:

1. Have a ‘me’ day

This is by far my most favourite thing to do. An entire day to yourself to read a book, stay in bed, get my nails done, head to the beach, go shopping. Just do whatever makes you happy.

2. Flowers

Don’t wait for someone else to buy you flowers. Treat yourself. Fresh cut flowers are a cheap and quick way to add a smile to that gorgeous face of yours!

3. Pamper yourself

Facial, pedicure, massage, haircut …. whatever makes you giddy. Go and do it!

4. Hit the pavement

When I’m sick or sad, exercise is the last thing I want to do. But we all know the benefits of whacking on some runners and hitting the pavement. Fresh air is the shit and will release some lovely endorphins to make you feel a tad better.

5. Cuddle a dog

I could have the shittiest day in existence and it’s all forgotten the minute I walk in my front door and see my furry boys Sonny & Benji. Sonny runs down the hallway to grab his favourite toy and show me and Benji just nudges my ankles lovingly. I guarantee stress levels return to zero when pets are around to cuddle and play with.

6. Visit the ocean

If you live near a beach, go and dip your feet in the water after work. There is something soothing & magical about salt water, sand and a light breeze caressing you.

7. Indulge in ice cream

I keep a box of mini Magnums in the freezer just in case. Indulge in your favourite comfort food and enjoy every mouthful. It’s medicine for the soul.

 

What is your go-to pick me up? What can you add to this list? I’d love to hear it. sig1

 

 

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Thought of the week #29

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My thought of the week: Well doesn’t this quote just smack you in the face like a wet fish. The last line really gets me!

“Don’t waste your time being sad,

because you’re wasting away moments

in which you could be happy”

I think and feel we all deserve a ‘pity party’ from time to time because it’s important to feel the emotions & work through them. Just don’t unpack and stay at the party! Cry it out, refocus and take one small step forward.

Happy moments are gifted to us every day. Don’t waste them. Don’t reject them. Unwrap the bows and marvel at the happiness they bring you.

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