Last week was surreal. Overwhelmingly surreal. Mr Lover and I were finally able to grab our mega phone and announce our miracle bubba to the world, and yet, all I can think about are three women in my life doing it tough right now.
These women are no doubt experiencing a huge array of crappy emotions; loss, grief, heartache, confusion and are anxious about what their future’s hold.
My immediate response is to offer up comforting words but sometimes you don’t wanna hear the comforting stuff, right? I know that when I’m spiralling to the bottom of hopelessness, comforting words do nudda!
You want someone in your corner to scream F*CK THIS SHIT for you.
Why? It validates the feeling. Your feeling. It’s totally OKAY to feel like shit when journeying through those crappy moments of life.
I don’t know about you, and how you deal with life altering moments and changes in your life. For me, I get real still. I withdraw a little and begin to retreat into my hole. It’s a safe hole and it allows me the little space I need to breathe and refocus. I don’t want to hear comforting words or positive affirmations just yet, I want to feel angry and scream ‘WHY ME?’.
Here is a small collection of my MANTRAS for when life has been tough.
There is something special about these two little words that offer up some freedom and allows you to feel liberated (even temporarily). Sure, sometimes the phrase is used in those moments when you want to give up on something (or everything). More importantly, F*ck This can open up your world to new opportunities, dares you to take a risk and is always there when you need to make a tough life decision.
BE A F*CKING UNICORN
My personal fav. Be a magical & mysterious unicorn when you find yourself surrounded by mules. Ever find yourself in at an event or in a situation where you don’t fit in? Be a f*cking unicorn! Own that space! I also repeat this mantra to myself when I’m feeling overwhelmed or repressing my feelings about something or someone. It immediately makes me want to strip bare my feelings and just run. And that my friend is freedom. Be a f*cking unicorn when things turn to shit. Feel the pain, rip raw that pain and it’ll free you.
AN INNER RESERVOIR OF STRENGTH RUNS DEEP WITHIN
This one came to me a day or two after losing my third bubba. I remember lying in my hospital bed and finding myself in a peaceful state for a few minutes. It was a moment of reflection and I was left amazed at just how strong my body was to survive such an ordeal. My emotional state may have been left in shattered pieces across the hospital but my mental state was strong and my body was showing me that it would heal. The 4 scars across my stomach are constant reminders of my inner reservoir – full of strength. I am here. I am alive because I can tap into my pool of strength when I’m needing a dip.
To my ladies who are suffering at the moment, I wish I could take your pain away. More importantly, I wish I could wipe away and erase this path you’re being forced to walk down. Life ain’t fair and the universe can be a biatch. Let this be your permission slip to scream, vent, rant, punch or cry and wallow. Do whatever it takes to survive today. Stay in bed. Stay in your PJ’s. Eat comfort food.
Because fuck it, why not?