Can an affair bring you closer? The surprising truth revealed.

Can an affair bring you closer? The surprising truth revealed.

As someone who’s been through a rollercoaster of ups and downs in relationships, the topic of affairs and their impact is one of great interest to me. It’s a topic that’s always had a level of taboo attached to it, with most people quick to condemn anyone who’s been caught in the act. But as someone who’s experienced it firsthand, I can attest to the fact that things are not always as black and white as they seem. In fact, I’ve found that an affair can bring you closer, and I’m not the only one. There’s a surprising truth to this, and in this article, I’ll be sharing my insights on the subject. Trust me, you won’t want to miss this.

Can an affair bring you closer?

The topic of affairs is a contentious one, with opinions divided on whether they can bring a couple closer or drive them apart. However, according to psychotherapist and relationship expert Tom Buckland, the majority of the couples he sees actually build stronger relationships after experiencing infidelity. Here are some reasons why an affair can bring a couple closer:

  • Increased communication: Affairs often occur when communication has broken down within a relationship. The process of working through the guilt, hurt and shame that comes with an affair requires a significant amount of open and honest communication. When couples are able to talk about their feelings and thoughts without judgement or defensiveness, their communication skills improve and they are better equipped to deal with any future problems that may arise.
  • Renewed appreciation: Going through the emotional rollercoaster of an affair can lead a couple to reassess their relationship and recognize the positive aspects that they may have taken for granted. When couples are able to work through the pain and betrayal, they often have a renewed appreciation for each other and for what they have together.
  • Realization of commitment: Surviving an affair requires a significant amount of effort and willingness to work through difficult emotions. By committing to the process of rebuilding trust and repairing the relationship, couples come to realize the depth of their commitment to each other.
  • Increased intimacy: The process of openness and vulnerability required to work through an affair often leads to increased emotional and physical intimacy between partners. When couples feel safe to share their deepest fears and desires, they are more likely to connect on a deeper level.
  • Of course, this does not mean that affairs are a positive thing in a relationship. Infidelity causes immense pain and can have lasting repercussions. However, if both partners are willing to put in the work, it is possible to use the experience to grow and strengthen the relationship.

    ???? Pro Tips:

    1. Recognize the risks: While it may seem exciting and exhilarating, engaging in an affair can jeopardize your current relationship. It could lead to feelings of guilt, shame, and eventually tear your relationship apart.

    2. Open Communication: If you and your partner decide to work through an affair together, be prepared to have open, honest communication with each other. Discuss your emotions, expectations, and concerns to rebuild the trust in your relationship.

    3. Professional Help: Consider seeking help from a professional therapist or counselor to navigate the complex emotions and aftermath of an affair. They can help you work through your feelings, and provide guidance on how to rebuild a strong and healthy relationship.

    4. Take Responsibility: The partner who engaged in the affair needs to take full responsibility for their actions and be willing to make amends. It’s important to show genuine remorse and a willingness to make changes in your behavior to regain your partner’s trust.

    5. Time and Patience: Rebuilding a relationship after an affair takes time and patience. Recognize that it won’t happen overnight and be prepared to put in the work to regain the trust of your partner. Remember that the goal is to grow stronger together, not just return to the way things were before.

    It is a common belief that an affair could mean the end of a relationship. However, contrary to popular opinion, it is possible for couples to rebuild and strengthen their bond after an affair. According to psychotherapist and relationship expert Tom Buckland from The Relationship Centre, “80/90% of the couples we see rebuild from an affair, and most have a better relationship than pre-affair.” In this article, we will explore the steps that couples can take to rebuild their relationship after an affair and work towards a stronger bond.

    Rebuilding trust: the first step after an affair

    Trust is the foundation of any relationship, and rebuilding it is crucial after an affair. It is essential to understand that trust is not regained overnight and requires continuous effort from both partners. The betrayed partner will need time to process the infidelity and will likely experience a range of emotions from anger and hurt to a loss of self-esteem. The cheating partner must be patient and understanding and take responsibility for their actions. A few ways to begin rebuilding trust are:

    • Being transparent: The cheating partner must be transparent in their actions and whereabouts. This means sharing passwords, being open about their schedule and whereabouts, and answering any questions the betrayed partner may have.
    • Following through on promises: If the cheating partner promises to do something, follow through on it. This shows the betrayed partner that they can rely on their partner.
    • Showing remorse: The cheating partner must express genuine remorse for their actions and show that they understand the pain they have caused the betrayed partner.

    Communication is key: how to talk about the affair

    Communication is crucial to rebuild a relationship after an affair. Both partners must be willing to talk openly and honestly about their feelings, fears, and concerns. It is essential to avoid blaming and attacking the other partner and instead focus on expressing feelings and emotions. Here are some ways to facilitate open communication:

    • Listen without judgment: When the betrayed partner shares their feelings, the cheating partner must listen without judgment and validate their partner’s emotions.
    • Express empathy: The cheating partner must express empathy and show that they understand the hurt they have caused.
    • Be patient: The betrayed partner may need time to process their emotions and may need multiple conversations to work through their feelings. Cheating partners must show patience and understanding.

    Understanding the root of the problem: why did the affair happen?

    It is essential to understand the root cause of the affair to prevent it from happening again. Both partners must work together to identify the factors that contributed to the infidelity. Here are some questions that couples can ask themselves:

    • Was there a breakdown in communication?
    • Did one partner feel neglected or unappreciated?
    • Were there external factors that contributed to the infidelity?

    Once the root cause of the affair is identified, both partners must work together to address the issue and take steps to prevent it from happening again. This may mean working on communication, prioritizing their relationship, or seeking professional help.

    Forgiveness and healing: moving past the affair

    Forgiveness is a crucial aspect of moving past the affair. The betrayed partner must be willing to forgive their partner and move forward. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting, but rather it means letting go of the hurt and anger associated with the infidelity. It is also essential for the cheating partner to forgive themselves and show that they are committed to making the relationship work. It is essential to acknowledge that healing after an affair takes time, and both partners must be patient and committed.

    Working towards a stronger relationship: the benefits of rebuilding after an affair

    Rebuilding a relationship after an affair is possible and can often lead to a stronger bond. The couple has gone through a traumatic experience, and if they can work through it together, they build a deeper level of trust and intimacy. Additionally, working through the issues that contributed to the affair can lead to a more fulfilling and satisfying relationship.

    Seeking professional help: when to consider therapy after an affair

    Sometimes, rebuilding a relationship after an affair may require professional help. If the couple is struggling to work through their issues, or if there are underlying issues that contributed to the infidelity, therapy can be an effective tool. A trained therapist can help facilitate communication, identify underlying issues, and provide strategies to rebuild trust.

    In conclusion, while an affair can be a devastating experience, it is possible for couples to rebuild their relationship and work towards a stronger bond. Rebuilding trust, open communication, understanding the root of the problem, forgiveness, and seeking professional help when necessary are essential aspects of the healing process. With patience, commitment, and a willingness to work together, couples can move past the affair and build a stronger relationship.


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