Dear Evie: 2 months old

Dear Evie

My first words to you have to be ‘I loved you before I even met you’.

I’ve dreamed about you for years and years. Probably since I was a little girl myself. I always wanted to be your mummy and I waited patiently until you were ready to join your Daddy and I. To have you here with us now, feels like sweet sweet magic. Someone up there was looking after you and delivered you safely into our world.

It has to be known that we’ve soaked up every single minute of you since the day you were born. Your heavenly smell, your soft skin, your long fingers and toes.

Today you are two months old and before the details become a distant memory, I wanted to share with you the moments surrounding your birth day. Because the moment, you and I locked eyes, was the moment my heart was lost to you. Your sweet blue eyes knew exactly who I was. I was your mama.

 

Thursday 10th December, 2015

Your ninja kicks were my alarm clock. Having barely slept all night, I must have dozed off a couple of hours because I woke up to your kicks. I remember lying in bed and thinking how much I was going to miss your ninja kicks and kung-fu punches. I’d press down on my belly and within seconds you’d kick me back, letting me know you were awake as well.

My Dr wanted to deliver you by c-section at 37 weeks. Over the years, I had lost a few babies to ectopic pregnancies. One of those ectopics had ruptured and the repair work to my uterus meant I couldn’t carry you beyond 37 weeks and I couldn’t deliver you naturally. To ensure your safe deliver, we scheduled your birth day for 10th December – ’10’ being your dad’s lucky number.

My c-section was scheduled for 5pm so we had all day to be excited, anxious and nervous about your arrival. Your Dad got up out of bed and decided to go to work. He was a bundle of nervous energy and couldn’t sit still. I got up and started cleaning the house. I wanted everything to shine when we bought you home from the hospital. I checked my hospital bag for the 259th time. I pottered around in your nursery, folding and re-folding your clothes, wraps and towels. Around 10am, your dad came home and we decided to head up the road to our favourite cafe for a late breakfast. I ordered banana pancakes with ice cream – my last meal before you were born.

Aunty Jessie came over to the house after lunch and kept me company. We talked about my pregnancy and how quickly the months have gone by. We talked about your twin sister, Ruby May, and how devastating it was to lose her at 8 weeks. We talked about you and wondered what kind of baby you’d be and what kind of girl and woman you’d grow up to become. All of sudden, excitement filled in the air. I had envisioned being in a flood of happy tears all day but instead I was calm, maybe a tad shaky. Today was the day I got to welcome my baby girl into the world.

Your GG (Grateful Grandma) also came around to the house. Talk about excitement. GG was jumping out of her skin in anticipation.

You see baby girl, everyone wanted to meet you. You were so loved already and you hadn’t even been born yet.

The time came for us to leave the house. I kissed your fuzzy brothers, Sonny and Benji goodbye. It would be a week before I saw them again. Your Daddy, GG, Aunty Jessie and I jumped in the car and headed to the hospital.

Your Dad started to get really nervous as I was being prepped for surgery. When your dad’s nervous, he wee’s a lot so the nurse had to escort your dad to the toilet. I laughed and told him to hurry back.

My spinal block was injected and within 10 seconds I had lost all sensation in my legs. It was the weirdest feeling as the numbness started to travel down my legs into my toes. I was then wheeled into the theatre room and it was filled with people. I was shocked at how many were in the room to see you being born! My stomach was filled with excited butterflies. We were moments away from meeting you now. The nurse placed a chair next to my head so your dad could sit down and keep me calm.

I said to your dad, “I wonder how long it will be before they start the cutting me open”.

And just then, my Dr said, “Nathan, have you got your camera ready? We’re about to deliver your baby”.

WHAT!!!!!  The Dr had begun surgery without me even realising it. A few big pushes on my stomach, and out you came. Bum first into the world.

Your Dad stood up and started taking photos. The nurse dropped the curtain in front of me so I could lift my head and see you being pulled out of my belly. Your Dad followed the midwife over the weighing bay and he hasn’t left your side since pretty lady. My nurse placed a giant TV plasma screen beside me so I could watch you being cleaned up and weighed. I watched your Daddy gaze at you and knew he fell instantly in love with you.

Then your heart melting little cry entered the room. It was the cutest cry I’ve ever heard and my face was wet with happy tears. You were finally here.

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The midwife wrapped you up in a bundle of blankets and placed you on my chest. Your eyes were wide open and so so so blue. I remember thinking ‘wow, she has dark blue eyes’. We locked eyes and the love I already felt just sky rocketed baby girl. You already rocked my world. I asked your daddy ‘Does she have ten fingers and toes?’ and everyone in the theatre room giggled. Of course, you were absolutely perfect.

Once the surgery was completed, I was wheeled into a recovery room. The midwife checked you over and we placed you onto my boob for a feed. You latched on and had a few sucks and then fell asleep. Entering this big bright world was exhausting. Once my vitals were OK post surgery, I was taken back to my hospital room where GG and Aunty Jessie were anxiously waiting. As I was being wheeled down the corridor, I could hear Aunty Jessie and GG squealing in excitement.

They gazed at you lovingly and welcomed you to the world. I turned to GG (named Rosemary), and introduced you.

‘Her name is Evie Rose’. GG burst into happy tears and was honoured to have her name be bestowed upon her first granddaughter.

The next few hours were filled with 72 cuddles, 851,375 kisses, 38 phone calls, 2047 texts, 2 pizzas and 1 bottle Moet. I don’t think my eyes left your face once – you had cracked me wide open and filled me with love like I never knew existed.

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So you see Buggy, your birth day was calm, peaceful and beautiful. Its like we’d always been together. Seeing your Daddy hold you turns me into marshmallow – if only I could bottle up this good stuff and keep it forever.

Evie Rose, thank you for making the world even more beautiful. Thank you for choosing me to be your mama. My life is now dedicated to you and I couldn’t be happier.

I love you,

Mama xx

Evie Rose Osborne

10th December, 2015 at 6.04pm

3.13kg (6.9lbs)

51cm

& the cutest kid that ever existed

 

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