Spotting Cheating Narcissists: Signs to Look Out For

Spotting Cheating Narcissists: Signs to Look Out For

I never thought it would happen to me. After years of being in a committed relationship, I thought I knew my partner inside and out. But then, I started noticing little things that didn’t quite add up. The lies, the secrecy, the constant need for attention. It wasn’t until I stumbled upon the term “narcissistic cheater” that everything finally clicked into place.

If you’re reading this, chances are you’ve also found yourself questioning the behavior of your significant other. It’s a scary thought, but understanding the signs of a cheating narcissist could save you from heartbreak and emotional trauma. So, let’s dive in and explore some key indicators to look out for.

How do you tell if a narcissist has cheated?

Discovering that a narcissist has cheated can be a devastating experience. It can feel like the ultimate betrayal, especially after all the love bombing they did to gain your trust. Unfortunately, there are times when you may suspect that a narcissist has cheated, but they won’t admit it or give you any clarity. At times like these, it’s important to pay attention to their behaviors and be aware of any red flags that may indicate they have been unfaithful. Here are some signs that a narcissist has cheated:

  • Love-bombing intensifies: Narcissists tend to engage in love-bombing as a way to manipulate and control their partners. If they’ve cheated, they may engage in this behavior even more intensely to try and keep you from finding out.
  • Canceling plans: If a narcissist has cheated, they may try to avoid spending time with you as they feel guilty. Last-minute cancellations are their way of creating distance while still trying to maintain control.
  • Silent treatment: Narcissists are known for ghosting their partners when they feel criticized or threatened. If they’ve cheated, they may go silent as a way to avoid confrontation.
  • Gaslighting: When confronted, a narcissist may become angry and try to twist the situation to make it seem like you’re the one with the problem. Gaslighting is a common tool they use to make you doubt your own experience and perception.
  • Social media use: If you notice that your narcissistic partner is spending an unusual amount of time on social media, it could be a sign of cheating. They may be connecting with their affair partner or using social media to distract themselves from their guilt.
  • Intimacy concerns: If the level of intimacy between you and your partner has suddenly decreased, it may be an indication that they’ve been unfaithful. Narcissists tend to have a distorted view of their own sexual attractiveness and may cheat simply to boost their egos.
  • Lying: Finally, if you catch your narcissistic partner lying about their whereabouts or activities, it may be a sign of cheating. They may also be more defensive and guarded than usual, which should also raise suspicion.
  • In conclusion, discovering that a narcissist has cheated can be heart-wrenching. Unfortunately, it can be challenging to get the truth out of them. By paying attention to their behaviors and being aware of red flags, you can protect yourself from further emotional hurt and take the necessary steps to move forward.

    ???? Pro Tips:

    1. Watch for excessive lying: Narcissists tend to be pathological liars and can easily justify cheating as being necessary for them to fulfill their needs.

    2. Observe their behavior: If your partner has recently become more distant, secretive, or defensive, it could be a sign that they have cheated on you.

    3. Check their phone: Narcissists tend to be very protective of their phones, and if your partner refuses to show you their phone or is always hiding it, it could be a sign that they are hiding something.

    4. Pay attention to their social media: If your partner suddenly becomes very active on social media, especially with members of the opposite sex, it could be a sign that they are cheating.

    5. Trust your instincts: If something feels off in your relationship and you suspect that your partner has cheated, trust your intuition. It’s important to gather evidence and talk to your partner while remaining calm and collected.

    How do you tell if a narcissist has cheated?

    When we first start a relationship, we expect nothing but love, loyalty and honesty from our partners. Unfortunately, some individuals turn out to be narcissists, who can disguise their true colors very well until they get what they want. Narcissists can be charming, manipulative, and deceitful. They have no problem lying, cheating, or gaslighting their significant others, making it difficult to determine if they’ve cheated. Below are some signs to look out for:

    Signs a Narcissist Has Cheated on You

    It’s important to note that every narcissistic individual behaves differently. However, some common signs that may indicate infidelity include increased love bombing, last-minute canceled plans, silent treatment, gaslighting and anger, social media obsession, changes in intimacy, and catching your partner lying.

    The Narcissist’s Increased Love Bombing

    When a narcissist is cheating, they might feel guilty about their actions and use love bombing as a way to compensate and maintain control over their partner. This may manifest as increased gifts, attention, and affection towards the victim. Keep in mind that love bombing isn’t always a sign of cheating, but if it’s combined with other red flags, it might be a cause for concern.

    Last Minute Canceled Plans as a Sign of Cheating

    Another sign of cheating is a pattern of last-minute cancellations. A narcissistic cheater may use excuses like work, friends, or family events to avoid your company. They might also make plans with you, only to cancel them at the last minute. These actions show that the narcissist is unreliable, disrespectful, and may not value your time and effort.

    • Constant cancellations without a valid reason
    • Prioritizing other people or activities over spending time with you
    • Being vague about their whereabouts and not answering your phone calls or messages

    Silent Treatment: a Red Flag for Infidelity

    The silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse used by narcissists to punish and control their victims. If your narcissistic partner suddenly stops talking to you or becomes distant and cold, it may indicate they’re cheating. This behaviour can make you doubt yourself and make you think that you’re the issue in the relationship. However, it’s their way of hiding their guilt and avoiding confrontation.

    Gaslighting and Anger when Confronting a Cheating Narcissist

    When confronted about their infidelity, a narcissist may turn the tables on you and accuse you of being paranoid or influenced by others. They may employ gaslighting, where they make you question your memories, feelings, and sanity. Alternatively, they might become angry, defensive and try to manipulate you into thinking that you’re the one at fault.

    Social Media Obsession Linked to Cheating

    Social media offers an avenue for narcissistic cheaters to find their next victim or escape from their current reality. If your partner spends an excessive amount of time on social media, it may indicate they’re cheating. Keep an eye out for excessive like, comment or message from someone unknown to you.

    Changes in Intimacy: Another Clue to a Narcissist Cheating

    Narcissists thrive on attention and validation; therefore, if they’re cheating, there is a possibility that they may reduce or withdraw intimacy in your relationship. They might also become more critical of your appearance, sexual performance, or use sex as a bargaining tool. On the other hand, if they’re cheating, they may also become overly affectionate, trying to cover up their cheating.

    Catching a Narcissist Lying: Proof of Infidelity

    Lying is a common trait of a narcissist. If you catch your partner lying about their whereabouts, activities, or people they’re with, it may indicate they’re cheating. They might also lie about small things and deny facts with no substantial reason.

    In conclusion, dealing with a narcissistic infidelity is challenging, and it’s essential to look out for the signs mentioned above. If you suspect your narcissistic partner is cheating, don’t ignore your instincts. Gather evidence, confront them, and seek the support of family, friends, or professionals. Remember that you deserve to be treated with respect, honesty, and love.


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