What Infidelity Excuses Do Cheaters Use When Accused?

What Infidelity Excuses Do Cheaters Use When Accused?

As humans, we crave connection and intimacy. We yearn for someone to share our lives with and form meaningful companionships. That’s why infidelity can be so devastating. When someone cheats, it shatters the foundation of trust and honesty in a relationship. But when the truth comes out and the cheater is confronted, what excuses do they use to justify their behavior? Do they try to turn the blame back on their partner or claim that it was a momentary lapse of judgment? In this article, we’ll explore some of the most common infidelity excuses that cheaters use and what they really mean. Are you ready to uncover the truth? Let’s dive in.

What do cheaters say when accused?

When confronted with an accusation of cheating, cheaters often deny any wrongdoing. This initial reaction is common across both genders and can take many forms, from a simple “no” to a more elaborate explanation. Here are some of the most common things cheaters say when accused:

  • “You’re crazy”: Cheaters may try to deflect the accusation by questioning the accuser’s sanity. This can be a way to shift the focus away from their own behavior and onto the other person’s supposed instability.
  • “I would never do that to you”: Cheaters may try to appeal to their partner’s emotions by insisting that they would never do anything to hurt them. This can be a way to make the accuser doubt themselves and their perceptions.
  • “You’re just jealous/insecure”: Cheaters may try to place the blame on their partner’s alleged jealousy or insecurity. They may suggest that the accuser is simply projecting their own feelings of inadequacy onto the relationship.
  • “You’re overreacting”: Cheaters may try to minimize the significance of their behavior by suggesting that the accuser is making a big deal out of nothing. This can be a way to avoid taking responsibility and to avoid having a real conversation about what happened.
  • “I’m not cheating, but…”: Cheaters may try to downplay their behavior by admitting to something less serious than actual cheating. They may suggest that they were just flirting, or that they were talking to someone else but didn’t mean anything by it.

    Ultimately, each situation and cheater will respond differently when accused. However, these common reactions can give insight into the tactics cheaters may use to avoid taking responsibility for their actions.

  • ???? Pro Tips:

    1. Deny, deny, deny: Cheaters will often try to flat out deny their actions when accused. However, this denial can quickly escalate into lying and making excuses.
    2. Blame shifting: Cheaters will often try to shift the blame onto their significant other. They may accuse their partner of being controlling, jealous or paranoid in an effort to deflect from their own actions.
    3. Gaslighting: Cheaters may gaslight their partner by manipulating them into thinking that they are crazy or exaggerating the situation. This can be a way to make their partner doubt their own perspective and avoid facing the truth.
    4. Emotional manipulation: Cheaters may play the victim card or use emotional manipulation to gain sympathy and turn the attention away from their own actions. This can be a way for them to avoid taking responsibility for their behavior and make their partner feel guilty for even bringing it up.
    5. Deflect with anger: Cheaters may become defensive and angry when confronted, instead of trying to have an honest conversation. This could be a way for them to make their partner feel guilty or to avoid the discussion altogether. It’s important to stay calm and rational during these situations to prevent any further escalation.

    Understanding What Cheaters Say When Accused

    Cheating is a painful betrayal that causes emotional turmoil for the betrayed partner. When confronted, cheaters tend to respond in a variety of ways, some of which can be difficult to detect or interpret. These responses could range from a straight denial to deflection and even feigned outrage. In this article, we will examine seven common responses that cheaters often use when accused of infidelity.

    The Denial Response

    Denial is one of the most common responses that cheaters use to accusations of infidelity. The cheater will often say ‘no’ or make a statement of disbelief towards the accusation. While it may be a straightforward answer, it often lacks any credible explanation, or any proof that the accused partner would require to believe it. Additionally, a straightforward denial may just be the initial response suggesting that there may be more to the situation than initially perceived.

    Accusation Rejection

    Some cheaters react by outright rejecting the possibility of cheating. They will say that their partner is wrongly accusing them as no cheating has taken place. This response could be because they are genuinely innocent, or it could also be a ploy to deflect the attention mainly if there are possible accusations or no actual proof of cheating.

    Bullet: Avoid being defensive or dismissing your partner’s concerns if you genuinely care about their feelings and the relationship. Instead, listen earnestly, and explain your position calmly.

    Playing Innocence

    Cheaters often respond to accusations by claiming innocence or portraying themselves as naive to the situation. They may act surprised, confused, or even shocked at the allegations brought against them. They could hide behind statements such as ‘I thought we were happy’ or ‘I didn’t think that my ever-faithful partner would question me.”

    Bullet: It’s essential to keep communication lines open and to discuss potential issues proactively before they snowball out of control.

    Refusal to Acknowledge Guilt

    Some cheaters deny allegations and are quick to refuse any guilt that comes with accusations of cheating. They may deflect blame onto someone else or point out how the accuser isn’t the perfect partner either, leading to these accusations. Such behavior often suggests that the cheater is more concerned with their own self-interest than repairing the damage to the relationship, and it is a sign that the relationship needs help.

    Bullet: Acknowledge your partner’s feelings and apologize to them. It takes courage to accept responsibility for actions that have hurt someone you care about, and it shows you’re willing to make amends and improve the relationship.

    Blaming the Accuser

    Some cheaters opt to deflect blame onto the accuser, working to make them feel guilty or paranoid for even suggesting that cheating has taken place. They may suggest that their partner needs help or that they’re being paranoid and irrational. This approach is likely to drive a wedge between the two partners.

    Bullet: Shifting blame to the accuser not only causes more pain and confusion, but it’s also a sign that the cheater is unwilling to acknowledge or address the deeper issues in the relationship.

    Distractions and Deflections

    Distractions and deflections are the most subtle responses cheaters use when confronted with allegations of cheating. They will often change the subject or suggest that the matter is not worth discussing. They may bring up another unrelated issue or accuse the accuser of overthinking or imagining things.

    Bullet: Keep communication lines open and focused on the issue at hand, don’t let your partner change the subject. They need to address the problem at hand, and it’s only fair that you get the truth from them.

    The Feigned Outrage

    Lastly, some cheaters respond with a false sense of outrage and indignation when accused of cheating. They might become defensive or aggressive, shouting or refusing to engage in a calm and constructive conversation. This response is often a sign of deep guilt that cannot be expressed constructively.

    Bullet: When you sense that the conversation is escalating, it’s essential to take a step back and try to calm things down. It’s better to approach the matter amicably rather than with hostility.


    Being accused of cheating is a serious issue, and how you handle the accusation will determine the future of your relationship. Ultimately, how you respond will depend on your position in the situation. It’s best to keep an open and honest approach to minimize the chances of false accusations or further hurt. No matter what approach the accused cheater takes, what is clear is that reluctance to engage in honest, constructive communication only damages what could be an otherwise healthy relationship.


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