What’s in a Name? The Married Woman Who Keeps Her Maiden Name

I never thought much about my name until I got married. Suddenly, the simple act of saying “I do” meant changing my identity. Not only was I taking on a new last name, but I was giving up the name that had been mine for my entire life. It’s a decision that many women face, and it’s not always an easy one to make. In fact, there are a growing number of married women who choose to keep their maiden names. What’s behind this trend? What motivates these women to hold onto their names rather than adopt their husband’s? It’s a question that’s sparked debate and even controversy. So, let’s dive in and see what’s in a name.

What do you call a married woman who keeps her maiden name?

The evolution of addressing married women

Throughout history, the way we address married women has evolved. In the past, a woman’s title was dependent on her husband’s status and societal rank. If her husband was a lord or a sir, she would be called “Lady.” If her husband was a commoner, she would be called “Mrs.” While, unmarried women were simply called “Miss.” This tradition continued for centuries until the feminist movement of the 1960s and 70s brought about changes in how we address women, particularly married women.

The tradition of taking your husband’s last name

Traditionally, when a woman got married, she took her husband’s last name and adopted the title of “Mrs.” as a way of identifying herself as belonging to her husband. This tradition held strong, with few exceptions, until the mid-twentieth century.

There were some notable exceptions, such as Queen Victoria, who retained her maiden name of Hanover rather than using her husband’s surname, Prince Albert of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha. However, this was considered highly unusual and frowned upon at the time.

The rise of keeping your maiden name

In the latter half of the twentieth century, women began challenging the tradition of taking their husband’s last name. This was driven in large part by the feminist movement, which sought to empower women and challenge traditional gender roles. Women began to question why they had to take their husband’s name and what the implications of this tradition were for their identities.

More and more women began to choose to keep their maiden name when they got married, often hyphenating it with their spouse’s last name or using both names without a hyphen. This allowed them to maintain a sense of identity and autonomy, as well as professional continuity if they had established careers under their maiden name.

Debating the use of “Mrs.” for married women

The use of “Mrs.” as a title for married women has also been debated in recent years. The term is derived from “mistress,” which historically referred to a woman who was in charge of a household and had authority over others. In modern times, it has come to be associated solely with a married woman.

Some argue that using “Mrs.” perpetuates the idea that a woman’s identity is tied to her marital status and reinforces traditional gender roles. Others argue that it is a matter of personal choice and that some women prefer to use “Mrs.” as a way of signaling their marital status.

Navigating formal titles for married women

Navigating the use of formal titles for married women can be tricky, especially in professional settings. Some women prefer to use “Mrs.” or “Ms.” depending on their personal preference, while others opt to use their first and last name, regardless of their marital status.

In situations where you aren’t sure which title to use, it’s best to ask the individual how they prefer to be addressed. Using someone’s preferred title and name is a way of showing respect and acknowledging their identity and autonomy.

Important note: It is worth noting the distinction between the use of “Mrs.” and “Ms.” “Ms.” is a title that can be used by any woman, regardless of marital status, whereas “Mrs.” is reserved exclusively for married women.

Understanding the personal choice of keeping your maiden name

The decision to keep your maiden name when getting married is a personal one and may be influenced by a variety of factors. For some women, it is a matter of identity and a way of maintaining a sense of self. For others, it may be a professional consideration, particularly if they have established a career under their maiden name.

For some, it may also be a political statement or a way of challenging gender norms and expectations. Whatever the reason, it is a personal choice that should be respected and acknowledged.

The impact of societal norms on a woman’s decision to change her name

Despite the increasing acceptance of keeping one’s maiden name, societal norms and expectations still play a significant role in women’s decisions to change their names. Women are often judged harshly if they choose not to take their husband’s name, often being perceived as less committed to their marriage.

The decision to keep one’s maiden name can also be met with resistance from family members or cultural expectations. This can create tension and conflict for women, making the decision to keep their maiden name a difficult one.

In conclusion, the evolution of addressing and naming married women has undergone significant changes over the years. While the traditional expectation of taking one’s husband’s name still exists, more and more women are making the personal choice to keep their maiden name or adopt a hyphenated name. Navigating these choices can be tricky, but it is essential to respect every individual’s decision and honor their autonomy and identity.