The Cheater’s Playbook: How They React When Accused
Have you ever been in a relationship where you had to confront your partner about infidelity? The act of cheating can be devastating, leaving the innocent party feeling helpless and unsure of where to turn. One of the most frustrating aspects of the experience is trying to discern the truth from the lies. Enter the cheater’s playbook. In this guide, we’ll explore the common behaviors and reactions of people who are accused of cheating. Buckle up, because you might be surprised by what you learn.
How do cheaters react when accused?
It is essential to keep in mind that these reactions are not always indicators of guilt. However, if you suspect your partner of cheating, it is best to approach the situation calmly and have an open and honest conversation.
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1. Denial is their first reaction: Cheaters usually try to deny their actions when accused. They may quickly come up with excuses or reasons why they haven’t done anything wrong.
2. Aggression is common: Accusing someone of cheating can feel like a personal attack, and some cheaters may react with aggression or anger towards their partner.
3. Gaslighting might occur: Some cheaters may try to gaslight their partner when accused, meaning they will try to make their partner doubt their own memory or perception of events.
4. They might try to turn the tables: In an attempt to shift the blame off themselves, cheaters might accuse their partner of being too jealous or paranoid.
5. They may try to deflect attention: Cheaters may try to shift the focus of the conversation away from their own actions by bringing up their partner’s faults or past mistakes.
The common initial response of cheaters when accused
One of the most common initial responses of cheaters when accused is denial. Whether it’s a simple ‘no’ or a more elaborate statement, cheaters often reject the allegation of cheating immediately. The denial could also come in the form of playing victim by putting blame on the accuser. For example, the cheater may counter-accuse the other person of being insecure or paranoid. The objective is to create doubt and deflect any suspicion of guilt.
Cheaters may also become defensive about their actions and get angry when accused of cheating. They may attack the person who accuses them of being unfaithful, attacking their credibility or their character. This is intended to intimidate the accuser, make them feel as if they are in the wrong, and cause them to withdraw the accusation.
The lack of guilt signs in cheaters when confronted
When cheaters are confronted, they often lack any signs of guilt. They may remain composed and unemotional, or they might act offended and confused. Cheaters often remain calm and cool during the confrontation, precisely because they have prepared their response beforehand. Their immediate goal is to diffuse any suspicions and to avoid any confrontation. In other words, they’re in complete control of the situation.
Cheaters also show a lack of remorse when confronted about their actions. They may try to justify their behavior, playing down the seriousness of the situation or making excuses for why they cheated. This allows them to rationalize their actions and helps them avoid feeling guilty. Essentially, what you’re witnessing is an expert liar who’s done this many times before, and who doesn’t want to be caught.
Understanding the psychology behind cheating denial
Cheaters often live with a sense of entitlement, which allows them to deceive their partners without any real remorse. They may also feel that their infidelity is justified, or that they are entitled to cheat because their partner ‘deserves it’. This emotional detachment helps cheaters to deny any wrongdoing, even when they are presented with concrete evidence of their unfaithful behavior.
Why would someone deny being unfaithful? One possible reason is to save face. No one wants to be publicly shamed or humiliated, particularly those who have a lot to lose. Cheaters may also be in denial, not even realizing that they’re cheating. Alternatively, they may be suppressing the guilt and shame they feel by turning their focus on the accuser and becoming aggressive or defensive.
Tactics cheaters use to deflect accusations
Cheaters actively use tactics to deflect accusations and avoid getting caught. They may start attacking the other person, making counter-accusations, or suggesting that their accuser is being paranoid or unreasonable. They may also start acting more affectionate towards their partner, hoping to distract them from their suspicions. Some of the most common tactics that cheaters use to deflect accusations include:
Why cheaters often refuse to accept the accusation
Cheaters often refuse to accept the accusation of infidelity because they don’t want to face the consequences of their actions. They may fear losing their partner, ruining their reputation, or destroying their family life. They may also be afraid of the emotional pain that comes with admitting to being unfaithful. By denying the accusation, they are attempting to retain some control over their situation and avoid being held accountable.
Cheaters may genuinely believe that if they deny the accusation often enough, it will go away. This is particularly true if their partner has never accused them of being unfaithful before. They may not take the accusation seriously or assume that their partner will eventually forgive them and move on.
The dangers of accusing a cheater without proper evidence
Accusing someone without proper evidence could be damaging to both the accuser and the accused. Making false accusations can irreparably damage the trust between two people, and the damage can be long-lasting. False accusations can also lead to legal action against the accuser, such as defamation suits or restraining orders.
It’s essential to have concrete evidence and to approach the situation with sensitivity and care when confronting someone about cheating. Cheaters are often skilled at lying and deception, and without evidence, it can be easy for them to twist the situation and play victim, causing further damage to both parties.
What to do when faced with a cheating denial
If you’re faced with a cheating denial, it’s essential to remain calm and avoid getting emotional. Stand by your accusation if you have proof and remain firm in your convictions. If you don’t have concrete evidence, it’s important to take a step back, establish boundaries and evaluate the situation. Involving a relationship counsellor or therapist can be helpful. They are trained professionals who specialize in helping people dealing with relationship issues.
At the end of the day, it’s essential to stay true to yourself and your values. No one deserves to be in a relationship where they are being cheated on. If you’re not happy, speak up and seek professional support from a counsellor. In most cases, there is hope, and with the right support, relationships can be rebuilt stronger than before.